So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
Mitch Albom (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

Depression and Faulty Core Beliefs

onlinecounsellingcollege:

Studies on people suffering from depression have uncovered a number of similar beliefs. These are deeply held, oppressive, self-defeating and lead to low self-esteem and distress. They include:

“I should be successful at everything I try.”

“If I am not successful, then I am a failure.”

“If I fail, then: I am worthless, I am unlovable, or, Life is not worth living.”

“Failure is intolerable/unacceptable.” “I should get the approval of everyone.”

“If I am not approved of, then I am unlovable, ugly, worthless, hopeless, alone, etc.”

“I should be certain before I try something.”

“If I am not certain, then the outcome will be negative.”

“I should never be: anxious, depressed, selfish, confused, uncertain, or unhappy with my partner, etc.”

“I should always be on guard for any anxiety.”

“If I let my guard down, something bad will happen.”

“If people see that I am anxious, they will: reject me, humiliate me, think badly of me, etc.”

“My feelings, relationships, sex life, behaviors, etc. should be wonderful and easy at all times.”

These are unrealistic and lead to defeat – and thus to depression and self-rejection. Hence, they must be challenged and replaced in counselling.
 

chronicillnesscat: [Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads:  Mental illnesses interfere with academic performance - “You have to take personal responsibility”] Having to deal with depression and anxiety is hard enough. I don’t need people telling me I need to “man up”, or that I need to try harder, or that I’m just trying to “cop out” of personal responsibility.
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chronicillnesscat:

[Image: 6-piece blue colored background with a Siamese cat.Text reads:  Mental illnesses interfere with academic performance - “You have to take personal responsibility”]

Having to deal with depression and anxiety is hard enough. I don’t need people telling me I need to “man up”, or that I need to try harder, or that I’m just trying to “cop out” of personal responsibility.

(via catchingspace)

Source: chronicillnesscat

how to decode a person with an anxiety disorder

euclase:

things we are trying to do all the time:

  1. be safe

things we can’t help but do all the time:

  1. second-guess ourselves
  2. behave impulsively and reactively
  3. take everything personally
  4. worry
  5. worry
  6. worry
  7. have difficulty accepting compliments
  8. have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
  9. have difficulty finding the courage to respond
  10. have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
  11. make a huge deal out of the smallest thing

things you should keep in mind:

  1. we’re scared of everything
  2. pretty much all of the time
  3. it’s an actual disorder
  4. it manifests as impulsive behavior
  5. you can’t fix us with words
  6. telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
  7. it’ll only make us feel silly
  8. and then we’ll worry even more
  9. “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
  10. like that
  11. also, we wear a lot of armor
  12. cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
  13. we constructed this armor as children
  14. we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
  15. but there is a nice person under there, we promise

things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:

  1. stick around
  2. ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
  3. be willing to change the place or situation if not
  4. activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
  5. talk to them even when they might not talk back
  6. (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
  7. try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
  8. (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
  9. (and they knows this)
  10. give them time to respond to you
  11. they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
  12. they will anticipate being judged
  13. it took me four hours just to type this much
  14. even though i sound casual
  15. that’s because i have an anxiety disorder

things you shouldn’t do:

  1. tell us not to worry
  2. tell us we’ll be fine
  3. mistake praise for comfort
  4. ask us if we are “getting help”
  5. force us to be social
  6. force us to do things that trigger us
  7. “face your fears” doesn’t always work
  8. because—remember—scared of everything
  9. in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself

emergency action procedure for panic attacks:

  1. be calm
  2. be patient
  3. don’t be condescending
  4. remind us that we’re not “crazy”
  5. sit with us
  6. ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
  7. remind us that we are breathing
  8. engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
  9. if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
  10. or breathe through our nose
  11. or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
  12. ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
  13. help us change it
  14. usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down

if you have an anxiety disorder:

  1. it’s okay.
  2. even if you worry that it’s not okay.
  3. it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
  4. you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
  5. i know there’s a person under all that armor.
  6. and i know you feel isolated because of it.
  7. i won’t make you take it off.
  8. but know that you are not alone.

♥

(via locomotives)